Romancing in China

The source of this wondering: a young American in China

Now this is a big topic! A HUGE one at that! Instead of going on and on about rather large, balding and ignorant laowai men with Chinese girls, I am going to focus on the logistics of dating in China from my perspective....and my perspective only!



I am lucky to have had a relationship of sorts here in a city with hardly any foreigners. However, that 'relationship' wasn't the most conventional AT ALL. He was leaving in 3 months, I was travelling and going home for the summer break (a month and a half), I came back and within the month he was off home. Lovely boy that he is, he was back to visit me for 10 days at Christmas - a BIG deal, especially considering he was coming from Germany!!



The thing with living here is that everyone is on contracts, contracts that didn't start at the same time and are not the same length. Also a lot of people in my age range are only here as interns as part of their university studies or are here actually studying Chinese at the university so they are only here for a limited time - usually around 3 months- 6 months.



Not many people here are really looking for relationships, even I wasn't when I arrived, being very career driven and keen to travel and have adventures. The fact that I kind of stumbled into one was a lovely bonus.



However the other experiences that I have had here are rather non-conventional. I have dated an older African American man, who was so lovely and gentlemanly and only here for a very short time, however turned out to be married with small children...not so lovely but at least he was up front...ha! I have since had text messages from America to email him and when he was back - I of course ignored these, as any self respecting girl would do!



I also met another lovely American who was only here for a week, we danced the night away and parted, ready to meet for dinner, however due to both our schedules that never eventuated. He gave me his number we exchanged a lot of messages and when he left he gave me his email on the pretense that I send him the photos of him and his work mates on our night out, me, being me, I totally forgot...this was back last year. Then 2 days ago I get a text message that he is back in the country (north west China). I knew he was coming back but I thought it was in January. So obviously a few messages were exchanged and although he is not coming to Wuxi he will be in Shanghai from next week and wants to meet up.



This way of dating/relationships/whatever you know or want to call it, is so different. Is it really ok just to have dates like this? People who fly in and out of the country every 6 months or so, meet up with them for dinner and then say au revoir again.


I also have to point out that this is honestly what it only is - dancing, dinner nothing more, but I find it so strange. Obviously lots of flirting, but for me I really don't see the point starting something when I could be gone by the time they get back or who knows!



I have a friend who met a very sexy man one night at the Paulaner and he left the next day. They have been exchanging emails and he has offered to fly her to Barcelona for an extended weekend! I mean the way our love lives are going, it's almost hilarious!



What a situation to get ourselves into.



Don't get me wrong, I am happily single and I am happy meeting some lovely people to spend some quality (short?) time with. They are all stunning people (well maybe not the married ones!), but is it really worth it?



Maybe it is just the feeling of being in a normal situation again - flirting, laughing, meeting like minded people?



All I know is, as long as I am looking after myself and I am happy and having fun it's all that matters!



Arohanui,

Love Amy xo



P.S - I will keep you posted if I head to Shanghai.....somehow I am sure that after these wondering's, I will not be doing so!